Misunderstanding
by YYG
Summary: ZoSan/SanZo A HUGE misunderstanding begins with an accusing Nami! One-shot Warning: Swearing, conversations that can be automatically transferred to a dirty mind


Me: Another oneshot since I've kinda been neglecting you guys...I'm so sorry.

Mid: Dance Lessons will be continued, we just need the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh! to get back from their vacations.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my laptop!

A Misunderstanding...or is it?

Nami sighed as she entered the galley. The thoughts of Cocoyashi villiage and Bellemere were starting to get to her. She would never mope and sulk while everyone (especially Luffy) was around. They'd always try to cheer her up, though it never worked. She'd just smile it off and act the entire time until she was alone. Then she'd break into tears.

Her stomach growled loudly. Nami didn't want to be in the same room as Sanji...alone. Sure, he was a nice guy, but sometimes he was creepy as hell around her. Hopefully someone else would be in the kitchen too while she got a snack.

"_AH!"_

Nami paled as she pulled her hand away from the doorknob. That was Sanji's voice, and a moan no less. Should she...intrude? Who was he in there with in the first place? 'Well, since he's obessed with women, it's probably Robin,' she thought. Nami paled even more if possible. 'WAIT, ROBIN'S THIRTY!'

_"Fuck, Marimo! It fucking hurts!"_

_"Oi, shit-cook, I thought you were flexible,"_ a deep voice countered. Nami's eyes widen. Sanji...Zoro...holy shit, Sanji was on _bottom_! Nami knew she shouldn't but she couldn't stop her feet from stepping out on the deck and retriving Robin. "What's the matter, navigator-san?" the older woman asked as she was dragged by the hand. Nami stopped in front of the kitchen door again, whispering for Robin to take a listen. When she pressed her ear to the door, Robin smiled.

_"How long do we have to do this shit?"_

_"Until the pain is gone and you feel complete pleasure."_

_"...How the FUCK am I suppose to get pleasure from this?"_

"Hey, guys, what'cha doing?" Ussop asked, walking towards them from the stairs. Robin held a finger to her mouth and whispered amusingly, "The cook and swordsman are...doing something." Confused, Ussop scratched his head in a thinking manner. What could they possibly be doing that's so interesting to the two women? Nami motioned him to lean against the door and listen. When he did, he flew backwards, eyes wide and mouth open. He wasn't expecting to hear:

_"Why the fuck does it have to be this position?"_

_"Because this is the proper way to DO it, shit-cook."_

_"It hurts a lot."_

_"You might be flexible, but this is a new position for you. If you want, we can do the Doggy."_

Some rustling sounds were made, causing the three eavsdroppers to wonder what was happening. With all their ears pressed hard against the door, they were in for a unexpected surprise. "_AHH! FUCK, WHY?!"_

_"Calm down, cook. It's not that damn serious."_

_"You're not the one on your fucking hands and knees, damn it."_

Luffy poked his head out from the galley way. Chopper warded him off since he was too busy studying to play. He figured he could get Ussop to play tag with him around the deck. Luffy noticed Nami's orange head pressed against a door, along with Robin's and Ussop's. He strolled over to them, about to speak, when suddenly a hand was slammed over his mouth. Luffy tried to pull it off, but Nami growled lowly, "Whisper or we'll be one short of a crew member." Luffy nodded, forcing Nami's hand away. He whispered, "What are you guys doing? If you're hungry, go inside."

Robin chuckled, "No, we're not 're just...listening." Luffy pressed his ear against the door also, but didn't quite get the situation at hand.

_"Are you almost done, marimo?"_

_"What, you're not enjoying this?"_

_"Fuck yes, but it still feels like I'm going to break."_

_"We've been doing it for two hours nonstop! It still hurts that bad?"_

_"Hell yes; I can't even close my legs all the way, it's too big! How the fuck did women let you do this to them?"_

_"Of course, I got paid for it."_

_"Those women were obviously masochists..."_

Nami glanced at Robin and mouthed "Two hours?!" Robin nodded, flashing a devilish smile. 'Who knew the swordsman could last that long,' she thought.

_"You know, the longer we do this, the more calories we burn."_

_"Why the fuck do you care if I'm losing calories or not?"_

_"Because when we fight side by side, I'm not going to try to defend an over-sized rabbit. Now, it's about to get faster."_

_"No, no, wait, Zoro, wait! AH! __**DAMN IT**__!"_

Robin raised an eyebrow curiously. They were obviously not playing with just each other. She shared the same look with Nami, which was a smug smirk. Ussop was still in utter shock. He thought they hated each other, yet they were doing something so...intimate. Luffy got bored of listening to something he didn't understand and went back on the deck to sneak off with one of Nami's tangerines.

_"Damn it, Marimo. I've got to get lunch started. We need to stop."_

_"Fine, but we're not done yet."_

_"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We'll finish, but first clean this up before they come. I don't want any of them knowing we did this."_

_"I'm fine with them knowing."_

_"Well, damn it, I'm not."_

Nami opened the door briskly, smiling and acting unaware of what just happened. She expected to find them on the floor, covered in sweat and...other body fluids. But instead, she found something not even remotely relevant. Sanji was by the sink washing his hands while Zoro cleaned up...exercise equipment. Yoga mats, dumb bells, ab crunchers, leg tighteners, and towels were in his hands. "What are you doing here? It's not lunch time yet," Zoro claimed, walking up to the three. Nami stuttered, "Um, w-what were you two doing with your spare time?"

Zoro shurgged, explessionless. He knew Sanji was glaring at him, silently begging him not to tell, so he said the only thing he could in this situaion. "Ask the cook."

"Sanji?" Nami directed towards the one tensing by the sink. She heard him sigh and stop the running water. "Nami-swan," he began, "I'm...not the kind of man that needs to work out to keep _this_ figure, okay?! PLEASE DON'T THINK LESS OF ME, NAMI-SWWWAAAAN!"

Zoro shook his head, "I needed a work out buddy and he kept complaining about the leg tightener. I told the shit-cook to work out another part of the body, but he said, and I quote "Bitches love toned legs" and did it anyway."

"Marimo taught an exercise class for women before he got the huge-ass bounty on his head. But, surprisingly, I do feel slimer," Sanji stated, smiling and rolling his entire body like a snake. Robin paled at her incorrect assumtion, but nodded anyway. She walked away from them without a second thought, going back to retrieve the book Nami made her drop. Ussop chuckled nervously, inching away from the kitchen quickly. He needed to get his mind out of the gutter. He needed to play games to keep his childhood intact.

Nami only smiled and made her way over to the refridgirator. "I only wanted something to drink," she stated, grabbing a bottle of water. She ushered her way out of the room, closing the door behind her.

_"...We're not doing that shit again."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because we almost got fucking caught, that's why not."_

_"It's not my fault you can't keep your voice down."_

_"Says the bastard that screams bloody murder when I'm inside him."_

_"That's not tru...fuck."_

_"You bet your ass 'fuck'."_

Me: So much vulgarity T-T I'm pretty sure Sanji would never call a woman "bitch" but the opportunity was too funny to ignore. Review!


End file.
